Google+

Autism Awareness: “I Isolated Myself…”

Posted by in Amazing People, INSPIRATION | 0 comments

Autism Awareness: “I Isolated Myself…”

Salutations Everyone!

So I feel like a rotten person… I started raising “Autism Awareness” a while back (in April when it was Autism Awareness month) and I didn’t keep up with it…It wasn’t a conscious decision to not continue with it, I was just overwhelmed with my responsibilities and did not have the time…But I’m going to get back on it!

So, I don’t know if you remember, but I met this beautiful young family, who have a son with Autism, and his mother was willing to share her story/experience with me and my readers… If you didn’t read her first letter, you have to read it! –> http://www.ladyendigee.com/letter-from-tanya-smith-part-1/

 

Here is the second letter from Tanya…

 

Hey Everyone…

So by this time the daycare that my son was going to couldn’t and WOULDN’T handle Aj anymore… He went from full days, to half days, until they called one morning and told us to come pick him up, and that he was no longer able to attend daycare there; they did not give us a prior notice… Just like that, AJ was out. Aj’s father worked from 6pm to 3am, by the time he got out it was 4.30is and I worked from 8am to 4pm, so this was devastating…Then we found a daycare for children with special needs, but it cost $1000/month, yessssss $1000/month! So we paid the first three months until the government subsidy finally kicked in: the government covered $700 of it (but let’s not forget that we had another child in daycare as well).  But the bright side was that Aj was in a safe environment and they taught him in the way he needed to be taught and they were sensitive to his sensitivities :).

Now once you get a diagnosis is VITALLY IMPORTANT to put your children on EVERY waiting list possible for EVERYTHING they can receive, because let me tell you that list is long! But while you wait, you can apply for different thing like presidents choice which can pay or help you pay for therapy until your child’s name gets called, I mean, IF your child’s name gets called. We also received a wonderful social worker from the CLSC who pointed us in all the right directions; she also got us a “stimulator” who is one of the most genuinely nicest compatible people I think I have ever met!  In my opinion, she was Aj’s “first friend” she taught me/us a lot. One of the first things she taught me was NOT to go crazy on the Internet. There’s a lot of good information but more importantly there’s a lot of bad information that is scary and heart breaking… Doing my own research on the internet wasn’t one of my better ideas, although my heart was in the right place… I also noticed that all these autistic children were using IPads, so what did I go and do?? Yup, I marched myself down to Best Buy  and bought my son an IPad (“mother of the year” over here); this was also not one of my better ideas…Until this day (he’s 5 1/2 yrs. old) he STILL has ZERO interest in it lol…I bought flash cards and spent HOURS trying to teach him how to talk… I also spent ALL OF MY President’s Choice money on speech therapy…Talking is another thing he still doesn’t do till this day…

It was a dark time for me. My best friend that I “got pregnant with” and I didn’t talk to anymore… I felt my mom didn’t know what to do with Aj since he had been “diagnosed”… I felt alone and my only friends were therapists and social workers;

I isolated myself…

 

I isolated myself so much that they were actually the only ones calling my phone at one point…My whole life changed… One minute I’m traveling, going out for coffee, dinners,  drinks and clubbing, and the next thing I know, I’m going to stimulation groups and I AM A MOTHER OF AUTISTIC CHILD… What just happened?! I got bitter… I resented my friends for researching anything on Autism or buying a key chain with an Autism ribbon. They say 1 in every 6 boys have Autism, so where are these moms? (Another thing I learned is that special needs moms are busy and tired people). I wished I had someone who knew what I was going through to talk to or just to “know” … So I went on “automatic pilot” and just did what I knew how to do, because I truly did not know what TO DO anymore… My mom has an expression:

“G-D doesn’t give you more than you can handle…”

 

So I was patient, but life was difficult.

Aj also has a HUGE tolerance to pain… One day he had cut his arm really bad;  no one knew right away because he didn’t cry… We saw blood on the floor. His dad just picked him up and brought him to the hospital where he got stitched up…And then he pulled or tried to pull the surgical tape off because it “didn’t belong” on his arm…We used a button shirt to keep him from reaching his arm and reopening his cut…Sigh…Yes, life was hard… It’s a little scary when your child cuts themselves open and says nothing…

Aj’s name finally got called at the ABA Centre, which is offered by the government for either 2 full years at 20hrs of intensive ABA therapy a week or until your child turns 6 yrs old. Fortunately for our family, Aj got almost 2 full years but he turns 6 two months before it ends… I know  it sounds like nothing, but A LOT can be done at that “miracle centre” in 2 months… So bah hum bug to you Quebec! And I suppose a “merci” for the 2 yrs that he got. Some kids (no matter how severe) loose the chance to get in either because the centre is THAT BOOKED and Quebec really doesn’t help THAT MUCH or because the parent never realized HOW IMPORTANT that place is and put their child on the list late. But Aj got in, and we got him registered at a “big boy” special needs school for September. Yes, we still talk to him like he understands…Why? Two reasons:

1). It’s instinctive

2). You just never know…

 

 And little did I know, my life was going to change dramatically again…

 

Yours truly,

An Isolated Mother

I have some more letters from Tanya, so subscribe to my blog so that you can be notified when I post the next letter! Thank you so much for your time!

LE Blog Signature

 

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>